It's always the quiet ones
by neoandtheangrywhiteflag
Summary: iruka has a colourful past that he would hate to be found out, but then some one does, kakairu, yaoi, smut in later chapters. trust us its better than it sounds!
1. Prologue

Author notes

Ok this fic is kakairu but there probs won't be lemon until later chapter's (sorry but we promise we'll make it good). It's going to be a little odd...aslo people this is a YAOI and there will be LEMONS in future chapters so dont like dont read...for all those little muchkins who don't know what that means then go and look it up on wikipedia...evil giggle and for those who dont know what lemons are...well lucky you for not being corrupted pervy yaoi fan girls like us..

ok disclaimer: we don't own nada it so we promise to put back kakashi and iruka after we're done playing...giggles again

ok terribly sorry for the appaling grammer and spelling but hey thats dislexia for you...if its really bad tell us and we'll change it..

please please please review and story alert and favourate us. We don't care if its just to flame us and have a go at us to make us update We're pretty much attention whores so what ever you do will love you for it XD

Prologue

Iruka grimaced as he bent down to pick up the huge pile of marking on his desk, looking forward to yet another long night of tedious grading. His students had all supposedy writen essays on the correct use of a summoning jutsu and it was going to be a night of frantic scribbling for him to get them all marked on time. Whilst most ninja might think that a quite life of teaching was pointless and boring iruka could see true worth in what he was doing and enjoyed helping this pupils greatly. If only there wasnt quite so much paper work though, as it took up almost all of his time. Not that it really mattered as iruka was almost never sent away on missions and didn't have much of a social life, sure he was rusty on his field skills and hadnt had an ounce of excitment in the last few years, but he was content.

As he began his leasurly walk home, under the weight of a lot of paper, he noticed that spring was starting with airy blossums on the trees and a freash sent in the air, clearing away the remaining grey of the winter. Yes, iruka loved spring for it was a time for new begingings. and iruka knew all about new beginings...

--

Kakashi lept down from the rooftop and quickly dispacted the ex sound nin. He glanced down the alley way before taking off in the opposite direction. That was five down and two to go.

As it normally did on missions his mind had gone onto running on black and white images. he found that this was the best was way of blocking out the fact that he had just slaughtered five human beings, this made him one of the most efficient shinobi in the village. After reaching his destination he burst into his preys hideout and hit the larger man at the desk squarly in the neck with a kuni and used another to simply slit the seconds neck. It was over in seconds and it took only a little longer for kakashi to locate the secret hiding place under the floor bored and retrrive the scroll which contained highly sensative infomation about the hidden leaf village.

As he brushed him self down and switched back on he thought about how easy the mission had been and how it hardly deserved a grade A. He had been expecting something so much more interesting and ,well fun! It had been childs play to retrieve the scroll and a part of kakashi almost hoped for it to be eleborate ruse which he would have to fight himself out of so that he could actually challege himself.

He quickly burned the remains of the men, moving quicky and restlessly,for some reason he felt cooped up and claustophobic even though he was totally free. Just as he left the hideout he heard the sound of thunder .

Kakashi groaned, he knew that sound and looking up at the sky his suspisiens were confirmed. Tonight there was going to be one hell of the storm and kakashi would be an idoit to try and travel in it. Which mean he had to spend another night in this tiny little village feeling like a caged animal. perfect. Now his claustophobia made sense.

He began to search for a reasonalbe inn or hotel to stay in before realising ,with another groan, that as he had been sent off on this mission at the last moment he had negleted to take any money or camping supplys with him. Oh well he was a hardened ninja, a bit of weather wouldnt kill him. Walking over to the nearest inset doorway and settling down for the night kakashi heard the heavy rain begin to pour down around him. he shivverd as the opressing atmosphere turned cold and miserable.

He was as comforable as he was going to get when he door was leaning against gaveway and a old bald head poked out. "I dont know who you are but nobody should be sleeping outside in this coming storm, would you like to come inside?" it said.

Kakashi found himself answering yes before he had time to mull it over. but he didnt realy care if he was walking into a house full of blood thirsty emiemies he could deal with that, he desparatly wanted to get out of the cold. Nearly noone knew this but Hatake Kakashi absolutly hated the cold.

As he steped over the threshold into the welcoming warmth, the old man turned to him and said in a surpisingly formal way."welcome to the house of the Umino family"

Umino! hmmmmmmmm Umino,Umino, Kakashi had hear that somewere before...oh yes it was the name of umino iruka that quiet school teacher who used to teach naruto!

--

Iruka turned the corner to see a stout old man with a doulble chin and a greasy face.

He stopped dead in his tracks, stopping breathing and dropping everything thsat he was holding. shock rushing through his system.

That was a man who he had never wanted to see again. A man from his past. His horrible, embarrassing, unforgeting past that iruka had done everything to leave behind.

And standinf in front of him was a man could drag it all up again and bring things to the surface that iruka would rahter die that let anyone know.

In short that man could destroy irukas life...again.

a/n- hope you liked please review!


	2. Chapter 1

Author notes

Author notes

Ok this fic is kakairu but there probs won't be lemon until later chapter's (sorry but we promise we'll make it good). It's going to be a little odd...aslo people this is a YAOI and there will be LEMONS in future chapters so dont like dont read...for all those little munchkins who don't know what that means then go and look it up on wikipedia...evil giggle and for those who dont know what lemons are...well lucky you for not being corrupted pervy yaoi fan girls like us..

ok disclaimer: we don't own nada ( apart from hedi but we dont really like him...) so we promise to put back kakashi and iruka after we're done playing...giggles again

ok terribly sorry for the appalling grammar and spelling but hey that's dyslexia for you...if its really bad tell us and we'll change it..

please please please review and story alert and favorite us. this time we got like 3 reviews and it made us jump around the room screaming and then upload sooooooo please review( yes we are shamelessly begging u got a problem with that?) We don't care if its just to flame us and have a go at us to make us update We're pretty much attention whores so what ever you do will love you for it XD

Chapter one

Iruka blinked still frozen to the ground.

Hedi Kisanni, a man with a nice name but a nasty personality. He was from Irukas' colourful past and not someone you would want to meet twice...

Please don't let him see me, please don't let him see me; please don't let him see me! Was the panicked thought that ran though Irukas' head? But inevitable the greasy man turned the started. Before a slow ugly smile spread across his face and he began to walk purposefully towards his prey, Iruka.

DAMN! Thought Iruka what could he do he couldn't exactly run away and make a seen, they were in the middle of a reasonable busy street. But he didn't want to have to talk to this man. Not now not ever. But more importantly he didn't want anybody to see him talking TO this man, for them to be connected, for people to think...

So Iruka discreetly signaled for Hedi to walk down a side street before starting to walk down one himself.

--

Kakashi was only a little surprised at the family name. It could have just been a coincidence. But "Umino" was that common a family name so he thought it was worth asking. "Excuse me, I may be wrong but is there a man belonging to your family called Umino Iruka?"

The old mans reaction shocked him. He sprung around on his heel and stared at Kakashi in horror "How do you know iruk-" his eyes flew to kakashis' headband," oh your a hidden leaf ninja!"

The old man tried to regain his composure and calm but it was clear to Kakashi that he was still badly shaken. Now Kakashi was curious what was it about the quiet and boring Iruka-kun that worried his man, who was his relative, so much.

The old man led he into a tastefully decorated living room before leaving to get tea. When he returned Kakashi set out using his surprisingly abundant charm to find out about what bothered the man so much.

"Your home is lovely, thank you so much for bringing me in. As you guessed I am a leaf village ninja and dues to bad planning I became stranded here with no money, my name is Hatake Kakashi and I am truly joyous that such nice people still exist that help people in from the storms." Kakashi then beamed his visible eye curving in a half-moon.

The old man bowed thanked him for the compliments and introduced himself as Umino Ida. He said that Kakashi was welcome to spend the night there Kakashi bowed and accepted but now it was time to quench his curiosity. "Please excuse me for being to rude but I couldn't help but notice how you reacted when I motioned Iruka-san's name, how are you related to him and why did you flinch before is he disowned of something?" Kakashi figure that with such a direct question he could at least gain some information from the man reaction.

Ida bowed he head and sighed then said quietly "I suppose that should tell you, beside a powerful nin against myself would easily be able to find out anyway" he then cleared his throat and spoke up " I am Irukas' great uncle and the reason that I reacted like that was because of Iruka and his father's past that I feared may come back to haut him"

Kakashi was not longer feeling bored or claustrophobic; he was leaning forward and listening intently. Umino Iruka with a haunting past that even his family and scared of?! Well he would have never thought that such a reliable man would have such a thing. Well it just goes to show it's always the quiet ones...

He lean forward more and urged "Please, carry on"

--

In the alley way Iruka turned to meet Hedi's eyes turning to hide the fear he was feeling. But it didn't look as if Hedi was fooled...

"Dark alleys and panicked looks, now Iruka, it might seem to some as if you had something to hide..." smirked the man.

"Don't call me by my first name Kisanni" said Iruka in a voice that would have his pupils squirming in there chairs. "What business do you have here?"

"Fine Umino-SAN" answered Hedi making the "san" sarcastic "as for my business...well how it is your concern? I am only talking to you as you're an old friend; I thought perhaps we could go for sake, Catch up ... maybe chat about old memories"

Iruka couldn't help but flinch at the last comment, trying to go there in his mind.

A wicked glint came to Hedi's eye when he saw this "Ha! Maybe not the memories then? Shame I thought that some of then were quite...pleasurable. Oh well I guess now that little Iruka has grown up and become a ninja he doesn't have time for his old friends"

Iruka was beginning to fume, how dared this despicable man come here, how dare he disrupt Irukas' little peace!

Hedi continued "Seems that you're not a proper ninja though, carrying around scrolls, a teacher I presume? Should have expected such a thing from you, but I wonder what your pupils parents would do if they found out would was teaching there kids..."

Iruka cracked at this last veiled threat. How dare he! He lost control and shouted "Get Out of this village Hedi! LEAVE NOW! GO BACK TO WHERE EVER YOU CAME FROM. GO BACK TO YOUR DRUG DEALERS AND GAMBELLING DENS AND YOUR WHORES!"

Hedi chuckled softly and grinned saying softly "go back to my whores? Well Iruka, I rather think that that would be you."

--

A/n

Also thanks for reviewing us so quickly;

Ryu earth, beyondthecrystalsea (and I thought our name was long) and stephke23  
we love you x you reviewed us..twice XDXDXDXD aslo we are stalking our stats thingamagy we know that we getting hits...soooo review! please please please we promise to reply and metionin author notes and everything! please please please, go on just push the button u know u want 2...


	3. Chapter 2

Author notes

Author notes

Ok this fic is kakairu but there probs won't be lemon until later chapter's (sorry but we promise we'll make it good). It's going to be a little odd...also people this is a YAOI and there will be LEMONS in future chapters so dont like dont read...for all those little munchkins who don't know what that means then go and look it up on wikipedia...evil giggle and for those who dont know what lemons are...well lucky you for not being corrupted pervy yaoi fan girls like us..

ok disclaimer: we don't own nada it so we promise to put back kakashi and iruka after we're done playing...giggles again

ok terribly sorry for the appalling grammar and spelling but hey that's dyslexia for you...if its really bad tell us and we'll change it..

please please please review and story alert and favorite us. We don't care if its just to flame us and have a go at us to make us update We're pretty much attention whores so what ever you do will love you for it XD

also sorry that took so long, the next chapter will be quicker 

Ida Umino began to talk in a slow unhesitating voice "Irukas father was once a good man. He cared for his family and dearly loved his wife and son; he was truly a nice good human being. A business man, an ambitious one at that. But after struggling for many years his bank was over taken by other bigger companies. But he was used to living the life of a rich and he went into a sort of delusion in which he was still successful. But soon reality caught up with him and the family began bankrupt. His was when I believe Irukas father stopped being a good man. He wanted nothing but to not be poor anymore. He called in old favors and contacts to try and get a well-paid job but in vain. He sunk into depression and the family was near ruin. So when Irukas father had the idea of holding a social gathering hear every week to help find money we were all extremely enthusiastic and interested and the man seemed to have a new life. So these gatherings started and business men came and drank sake and talked. But in this time Irukas father became bitter and ruthless doing anything, taking any advantage to get back to the place he was before."

"All was going well. So let me tell you about Iruka now. Iruka was a bright boy with good potential that is until his fathers business went under. But Iruka was utterly devoted to his parents especially his father, he would do anything for him. He was so innocent and so good...But you must be getting bored of this story so let me get to the part were things change.

About a year after these gatherings started a great depression came to this area and money was very scarce. Nobody was interested in wasting money just to talk when times were this bad. So the family started to lose money again and nothing seemed to stop it. Until Irukas father had that dreadful idea. Iruka was about 13 at this time and his father used him to gather more money and guests." For the first time in his speech the old man paused, his face wrinkling with distaste," so the gatherings turned from calm business chats into something quite different. This area was quite depraved during and after the depression. So Irukas father keep earning enough money to keep the family sable but it was at his sons' expense. As I said before Iruka was devoted so at first he was conforming with what was happening, not that he really understood it... but when he reached those difficult years of 15 to 16 he wanted to break lose and not spend the rest of his life as such a person. He wants to make something of his life. But his father knew that without Iruka he would become poor again and so he became more and more controlling of Iruka.

Well Iruka was a teenager so something had to give. At that time he was ashamed of what he was and what had happened to him so he snapped. He ran to the distrait authority and appealed for his father "business" to be closed down. It was and when Irukas father was taken away, for he had broken a law, he screamed that his son had betrayed him. Myself and the rest of the family tried to make Iruka see that he wasn't a traitor and he had done nothing wrong. But he was caught between his shame for his "betrayal" and embarrassment for what he had been so he fled from here.

A few mouth later we got a letter from him telling us that he was taking late training to become a ninja and that we shouldn't try to contact him. We were sad about this but we accepted it as the best thing for him. He seemed to have always been to self contained you see." the old man stopped seeming to have finished his narrative.

The explanation cleared a lot of things up for Kakashi like how Iruka had arrived to the village from no-where and at such as old age for a ninja. But there was one very confusing point that uncle appeared to have glossed over with half meanings and hints. It was the most important thing in the story it seem to Kakashi. Oh well might as well try he direct approach again.

"When you say that Irukas father used him to gather more guests what do you mean?"

As Kakashi half expected to Ida seemed affronted but mainly embarrassed by the question "oh... oh um well yes, Iruka was used to entertain guests"

Entertaining? Since when has entertaining been so embarrass-oh OHHHHHHHH! The icha icha part of Kakashis brain clicked. He was surprised he hadn't realised it immediately. But difficult to imagine the teacher doing something such as that. After the thought set in Kakashi was quickly horrified by how Iruka had been treated against his will! Kakashi voice was angry now and he hissed "it took that long for it to be stopped when a poor underage boy was being used for a-!"

But he was cut off by the uncle "no, no! He was never um, ahem, bought he was just made to, well, um, well" Ida was now very embarrassed and seemed to have trouble finishing with, "um, dance".

"Dance? How do you mean dancing-" Kakashi stopped, the penny had dropped. "Oh! Oooooooooooooooooooh you mean he what? like, strip teased?"

Ida, who was now an interesting shade of bright red, nodded apparently unable to speak.

Kakashi was a little shocked to say the least. To think that Iruka, I mean Iruka the school teacher! had been a lap dancer! Kakashis mind jolted at the word. He could barely comprehend it...

Ida muttered his goodnight and left the room leaving Kakashi pondering the improbability of it. He was relieved that Iruka hadn't actually been a whore; he didn't want any human being to have to go thought that. But he wondered if Iruka had gotten over it or if he was still scarred. He remembered vaguely that the man was single and lived alone and felt a pang of concern. But A few minutes passed before a strange thought entered Kakashis mind. He tried to banish it but it wouldn't leave much to Kakashis annoyance since it wasn't exactly moral or respectful to Irukas privacy...

Because it had just occurred to Kakashi that to make so much money for his family how good a "dancer" must have Iruka been?

A/n Iruka was a bright boy with good 'potential'

Angry white flag wrote this as 'propected' so I am assuming that that is what she meant.

:S


	4. Chapter 3

Hello again people...hope that you like this chapter thought not that much happens...

disclaimer: we own nothing...yet

ok this weeks being kinda shitty and crap and currently we're feeling rather unloved...so please please please give us hmmmmm 15 reviews and we'll update imediatly!! please please!! we'll luv u forever!!

any who enjoy

Chapter 3

Iruka processed what hedi had just said and stuggled to get his outraged reply out, "I--I n-never I never ever-- never was a -a-a...whore!, I mean I never actually--um--how dare you say that!"

hedi just smirked. "well i admit you never actually did the deed ,so to speak, that I know of but you were only one step down and I don't that many people would believe you if you tried to explain the difference"

Iruka was on the surface seething at being talk to this way but below the surface he was freaked out, sad and most of all terrified. He knew logically that everything that had happened to he wasnt his fault and that it wasnt as bad as it could have been but , and this was a big but, the shame of people knowning about his past would crush him, it was part of the reason that he ensured that he was unoticed and unknown. Aslo his job was working with children and althought he would never do anything to hurt any of them he realised that some parents just wouldn't see it that way. Iruka realised that this awful reminder of the past was only making he panic so he forced himself to calm down so that in could control the situation.

"what do you want hedi? and dont give me any bullshit about old friends"

hedi squirmed "well to tell you the truth I'm in town to settle a few debt and i was hoping to run into you to make sure that you hadden forgot me and what I know about you. But" hedi toned changed to be oddly cheerful, "now that i see you clearly haven't I be on my way"

And without anynother word hedi turned around and exited the alley leaving iruka to figure out the exchange.

It was clear that hedi intentions toward him weart friendly, but when had they ever been? No iruka thought about what he had said about check if iruka had remebered him. Well it was plain that iruka could never forgot his past and hedi was a man he had known for many years so he wouldn't forgot him. So assuming that hedis words were false why would he come to see iruka. He could have just wanted to make iruka squirm, hedi was a vry unpleasant man, but iruka's knowlege of the man told him that something esle was up. he thought abouthe had deliberatly provoaked iruka and make him react strongly. Proake iruka? well what had his reaction told hedi, that he was still trouble by his past and thst he didnt want any one to find ot out of shame and lsoing his job. Well why would hedi want to know that? Iruka remenbered something about settling dedts and his realised. hedi could have been checking that was still freaked out by his past so that he knew that he could use this against iruka possibly for blackmail!

Iruka shuddered at the thought. But he then reminded himself that this was all pure sepulation and nothing should come of it hed was simply reacting from a shock . But the whole experiance left iruka shaken, paniced, scared and alone. He disliked having this a sercert but it was impossible to tell any one !

Sighing iruka gathered his scrolls together again and walked home.

--

a smile tugged at the corner of kakashis mouth as he turned over in umino idas' spare bed.

--dream--

the room was crowded with people, kakashi was standing at the back and was trying to squint beyween the rows of men drooling at the show that was being put on for them.

right at the front of the room was a boy in a skintight black suit, he had shoulder length chocolate coloured hair and a tantalizing aura of inocence. he was touching himself with an alluring awkwardness that obviously turned the whole room on. Man! thought Kakashi the teenage Iruka was HOT!

Kakashi was now standing at the front of the room every one else had gone. iruka was dacing solely for him.

the boy slowly tugged at the bottom of his top revealing bare tanned skin. kakashi mouth watered at the thought of him topless.

the boy hands skimmed over his suddenly naked torso, the lean newly developing muscles rippling erotically under his skin. then they delved lower beneath his waist band and slowly brought the tight material down

the dream shifted

irukas fully grown body was dancing. they had shifted to the konoha academy but the man hadn't skipped a beat(practice ; )

he slowly pushed kakashi onto the bed and loomed over him, his eyes glinting suggestivly.

--/dream--

kakashi woke with a start. where had that come from?

stupid icha icha making him dream about one of his fellow shinobi like that. he streched and pulled himself out of bed. only then did kakashi notice how hard he was.

Why had a dream about the school teacher that was about Naruto's rolemodel excite him? It wasn't the fact that iruka was a man that bothered him, Kakashi had know and accepted that he was bi for years...no it wasnt that it was something kakash wasnt sure of...

As kakashi got dressed he couldn't stop thinking about Umino iruka, he decided that this was because he was shocked that the shy, frigid teacher would be able to 'entertain' a room full of horney men. the iruka he knew wouldnt know sexy if it ran over him in a lorry. although... his hair must look amazing lose, and his skin tone was very atractive...'stop it kakashi! chided his conscinece'...and well he apparently had at some point danced like THAT...'kakashi stop really stop thinking about it'...and..well that...-

he shook his head

admittedly the truth he had stumbled across had shaken up his views slightly but they would settle down when he got back and realised how boring the man is.

but no he was NOT lusting over umino iruka!

hmmpph...

--

a long journy, four things and a lizard later kakashi walked warily through the gates of konoha. He was a little weary of his own company as his own thoughts had been bothering him on the journey and he was looking forward to the prospect of getting back into the swing of the village and things becoming, relativly, normal again. so then kakashi could be in control, and kakashi liked being in control...

--

hope you enjoyed now push my button make me happy...review...;)


	5. Chapter 4

a/n awww we dint get 15 reviews :( but thank to people who didnt review!! um this chappies quite long so enjoy. aslo can any one piniot out faults in Kakashis decition making logic if they can please can you piont them out to us so we can fix it! thanx

soory for spelling and grammer and we own nothing.

Irukas week had looked up since the encounter with hedi, his marking was under control, his students werent acting up to much and spring was getting into full bloom. So all in all the niggleing little fears at the back of irukas mind weren't giving him too much trouble.

iruka wasn't stupid he knew that everybody had secrets thing they didn't want people to know. He knew that every body had a past and in all liklyhood some were worse that his. But he aslo knew that the acceptance he that now would vanish over night if word got out. It would mainly because of his position working with children but aslo because people would be so shocked.

But the ohter reason why he didn't want people to know was because iruka was haunted by the shame of his past. He may not have seemed it but iruka was very pround in someway and his integrity was one of them. The embarasement of his inncentence and naiveity were long term scarrs. with hindsight him could believe that him had done any of it! But strangle iruka wasn;t freaked out by what he had done. He was only scared f people finding put not at all about the fact that once he that been lusted over by roomfulls of men and women. That wsnt the reason that he had never had a relationship.

no the reason for that was because, out of fear and paranoier, iruka kept his head now and didn't let people get too close to him. Because people thinking of him as an unremarkable school teacher was better than peole thinking of him as a slut. the person he was closest to him was naruto and even he didnt know about it but that was really not surprise as the boy was rather obtuse.

iruka was just begining to hope that things would settle back down into a normal pattern in life when a certain plaitnum headed pervert returned.

--

Naruto burst into irukas office at the acadamy in an explosion of orange and sent papers flying "Iruka-sensei, you okay! Will you taking me for ramen? PLease please please!"

"naruto what are you doing here in the middle of the afternoon shouldn't be on a mission or something?" iruka was please to see naruto but was worried that the boy was skiving.

"no no kakashi-sensei has been away on a mission and only got back this morning so he said that we could have the afternoon off, so pleeeeeeeeeeeease can we go for ramen I been working really hard! "

Iruka chuckled at the still childish naruto to hide his slight discomfort at kakashis name. He barly knew the man but he was nver at ease with him. Mabey it was beacause iruka found him quite intimidating of mabey because of those damn icha icha books, but it was know matter as iruka had very little contact with him. He decided that ramen wasnt' such a bad idea, it was pleasant day and he could afford to take the rest of the afternoon off. "Ok naruto but just let me tidy up a bit first"

Iruka and naruto strolled out of itchiroes(cant remenber the name :S) chatting happily. A naruto had spilt some ramen on irukas head (dont ask how!) and so iruka has let down his hair and taken of his head band to rise his head under a tap. So now iruka had dripping wet hair down his back but him didnt really mind as it was a true accident and evening was quite warm so the dampness didnt bother him. Besides he hadn't let his hair down in ages.

Laughing at some comment naruto had made about "fuzzy brows" they turned the corner.

--

Kakashi had given his mission report in and gone for something to eat and now he was walking in the pleasant evening air when he turned a seemingly perfectly inncocent looking corner and saw something that in his opionion should have been classed as 18 rated and not been allowed outside.

actually it was someone not something.

well two someones but the second person was kakashis pupil naruto and compared to what was standing beside him didnt deserve to even be looked at.

Because standing the a middle of the street was umino iruka wearing a normal shinobi outfit with , no headband, with big deep chocolate eyes, full highly kissable lips, a strong definate jawline, a long surdy body and to top it at off dripping wet hair trailing around his face and body. In short standing in front of kakashi was the incarnation a fuckableity.

"--"thought kakashi, his brain apeared to have ceased funtioning in favour of oggling the mouthwatering sight in front of him.

"Oh, hello Kakshi- sensei "chirped Naruto, oblivious.(to kakashis somewhat shocked expression and to the fact that he was standing next to said 'incarnation a fuckableity'.)

"Hello Kakashi-san, I've heared your just back from a mission how are you?" said the fuckable one.

Kakashis entire brain and will power were going into not jumping the man in front of him, student presant or no but he regestered that there was an unanswered question and realsied that he was expected to say something, so he shut his mouth stopped drooling and tried his best "--oh hello naruto, iruka-san--um bye"

He had had to get out of there no matter how arupt so he took a step back and teleported with a poof of smoke.

--

Iruka and Naruto glanced at each other unsure of what had just happened.

"Um...naruto-"

"Don't worry about it iruka-sensei kakashi-pervent is always weird"

"Oh ummmmmm ok then"

the pair continued walking.

--

Kakashi appeared in his front room breathing heavily and trying in vain to control his heart beat. Well he hadent expected THAT. All this odd thoughts and dreams apeared not to be exagerations oh how nice looking the teacher was.

Kakashi flopped onto the sofa, what was he going to do!? All hoped of seeing boring old iruka and forgeting about him were banished. How had kakashi not noticed that before.

Bloody hell but Umino Iruka was just then was probable the hotest thing he had ever seen.

--

over the next few days kakshi faced his problem in the best way his genius brain could think of, he avoided iruka. unfortunantly this is a hard task when the man you are trying to avoid works in the mission room and you are a jonin that is required to do missions. as well as walk around the village in which he resides.

Another thing that was nagging him was whether he should tell iruka what he knew. obviously iruka wouldnt like people to know about it, who would, but he couldt keep walking past the man know that he had been a renowned sttip dancer and that iruka had no idea that his secret had been unearthed. also it would be a good way of explaining the weirdness of his actions. then again that would mean talking to iruka and him probably hating kakashi.

Also how could he say it,a cheery 'hi iruka, I was talkin to your great uncke the other day and he said that you were a whore' didnt quite work.

Kakashi thought about leaving him a note of message of some sort but descided that thats was just far to cheesy. He realised that he dneeded to think of a sensible solultion to this "issue" so using his "genius brain" he thought about the root of the problem logically.

He wanted the situation with iruka to go back to normal. But he aslo wanted Iruka to know that Kakashi knew about his past. He didn't want to hurt Iruka and make an enimee. Aslo telling Iruka could be extremly akward as well as people would notice sooner or later that things had changed between the two. Neither Iruka nor himself could be trustedto return to normal once the secret was know between them even if it was done discreetly as kakashi got the impresstion that Iruka was unhappy with his past. Kakashi reached the piont were he discovered that his original wants were paradoxial he could have things back to normal AND have iruka knowning. So he had to choose. He thought about it and the decition surprized him, both in the choose and how easy it was to make it, Kakashi wanted Iruka to know that he knew about his past.

Now why did he want that? It would be easiest to simple leaving whole thing behind, but Kakashi found that he wasn't happy to do that. what was it about Iruka that had Kakashi so keen to involve himself? Was it his past or something esle? Strange thoughts, or How iruka looked?...

promply kakashi decided to was time to stop thinking about iruka. the decidtion was made and now all he had to do was find a way of telling iruka...

a/n one word REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW

--


	6. Chapter 5

Okay, a new chapter

Okay, a new chapter. Hopefully this one will have fewer spelling errors and make sense the whole way through.

So yh, sorry for the wait

Enjoy.

--

The next couple of days were a comfortable for Iruka, the trees bloomed, papers were marked, his class misbehaved, life went by and normality seemed to return to Irukas life. The nagging worry grew less and he became mellow and calm.

So that Sunday he decided to take advantage of the pleasant weather and have his dinner outside in the tree tops and maybe read that new novel that he had bought a while ago...

So early Sunday evening Iruka dressed in normal chunin uniform packed a bag of peanut butter sandwiches (high protein content you see) and tucking his book "twilight" into his bag he set out towards the forest.

When he reached the tree he swung up easily onto a branch and began to move swiftly from tree to tree. He allowed himself a small smile, he had forgotten how much he enjoyed moving freely like this, the braches bending slightly under this weight, the wind against his face it was a very good feeling.

He reached his destination, a wide flattish branch which could easily be sat on, in about 20 minutes. He was just settling down to his peanut butter when he felt something move behind his tree.

Moving into a crouch silently and reaching for his kunai he held his breath and scanned the entire area he could see. Spotting nothing, he was about to move for a better viewpoint when he saw it again. There a flash of dark colour!

An enemy Nin? Well there was no point in giving them the element of surprise. "Hello I know someone is there, please show yourself"

He hadn't expected it to work, just for it to alert the other that a surprise attack could happen, so when a figure dropped out from a branch above him (the complete opposite direction that Iruka thought he was) he did a double take. Well he could safely say that this was the very last person he was expecting!

Hatake Kakashi was standing in front of him and Iruka for once was totally stumped for what to do. The man had obviously followed Iruka for some reason but was he alone? And why had he taken an interest any way? The other problem was that well it was Kakashi and Iruka had always been, to put it lightly, a little intimidated by the famous sharingan user. He had never seemed all there, and was so worryingly over confident it made you think that there must be a reason behind it, not to mention though damn porn books...oh and the last thing was that Hatake Kakashi was easily powerful enough to blast Iruka out of the tree without blinking.

Iruka only had a vague connection with him through Naruto and he never saw him much. The last time he had seen him was the bizarre meeting a few days ago, and the last time they had had a conversation was at the chunin exam. Iruka cringed internally, normally he would dream of starting an argument like that but his protective instinct had dragged him into it and so he had to suffer the degradation of being beaten.

Iruka knew the silence ought to be broken so he tried his best. "Um hello Kakashi-san what brings you here?"

Kakashis eyes became half-moon, presumably meaning that he was grinning, "Why you of course Iruka-san."

--

Kakashi had decided to simply confront Iruka when there was nobody around. It was simpler and it wouldn't be noticed easily by anyone else. But first Kakashis curiosity and his paranoid ninja complex forced him to find out as was possible with any one suspecting anything.

He asked various chunin, jounin, administrators and parents about the teacher and replies were filled for respect and love for the man. Everyone seemed to know him and have something nice to say about him. It made Kakashi quite disgruntled. It appeared that he wasn't the only person to have noticed the man. And judging from the way some talked about him he wasn't he only person who had noticed Iruka in THAT way. Kakashi carefully remembered all those he suspected for future reference.

He also followed the chunin around for a while. Never all day and never all the same times to be extra careful. But enough to find out about his daily routine and were he could be found. But from close observation Kakashis quick mind also learnt things about Iruka that other people didn't know or had missed.

As, although the teacher had many friends and people cared about him, he seemed, at times, quite lonely and sad. Iruka lived alone and once he had gone home never really came out until the next morning. This loneliness seemed to be carefully hidden so no one saw it but it was shown in the occasional glimpse across his lovely face.

The idea of Iruka being sad troubled Kakashi more than he knew it should, but he put it down for sympathy for the man's whirring past.

Kakashi knew that he was WAY too interested in this mans life and that he really should stop it. But he couldn't brig himself to, it wasn't just boredom, it something else...something about him that made everybody love the apparently unremarkable man.

Of course it didn't help that Kakashi could get Irukas looks and body out if his mind or his dreams. the tan long haired man kept reappearing in Kakashis mind at the most inopportune moments this, added to the fact of as Kakashi had been following Iruka giving Kakashi ample time to sit and gawp at him, meant Iruka was quickly overtaking his porn books in the pervy thoughts section of his mind.

So when Kakashi saw Iruka set off for a dinner in the forest he chose this to be the time to confront Iruka and, hopefully, get the situation resolved.

--

"M-Me Kakashi-san? Is it just you who wanted to see me?" 'Awww' thought Kakashi' he looks to adorable when he's worried I want to hug him...wait! What was THAT?! Did he just think that he wanted to hug Iruka? Ok time to move on...'

"Yes Iruka-sensei it's just me who wanted to see you so there no need to be worried" Kakashi didn't realised that for Iruka this was plenty of reason to be worried.

"Oh-ok what about?" answer Iruka. He had shifted his body into a slightly less defensive position but he didn't look any more comfortable. Kakashi thought of the best way to say what he knew but was momentarily distracted by Irukas deep anxious eyes and so blurted out the first thing that came to his head.

"I known you used to be a lap dancer"

The anxiousness in Irukas eyes froze to be replaced but terror. "What!"

Kakashi realised that this wasn't good so he plunged into his story, trying into appear unconcerned.

"Well I had a mission in your home village and when I was there..."

By time he was finished Iruka looked as if he was ready to faint or run or both. "W-why are you telling me this? Why do you care? Please tell me!"

But Kakashi didn't know the answered to these questions himself and he certainly wasn't going to explain his motivations so he simply shrugged and went "Hun".

Iruka looked like a little bunny caught in head lights. Kakashis inner self screamed "hug him! Wrappy your arms around him and tell him it alright!" Kakashi was extremely concerned that he was having these erroneous thoughts and tried to quash them so they would show. Of course this meant he was very harsh to Iruka.

There was a very awkward silence

Okay Kakashi he thought make a joke, make a joke

'So you gonna give me a dance'

Crap, that sounded too hopeful, he may realise I really want it umm...

Kakashi smirked mockingly to cover it up

Nice whispers his sub conscience.

"Cos if you are then this tree top isn't such a brilliant place, what with clothes flying every were and all"

What the hell was he saying?

'Go away Hatake-san' cried Iruka in mortification,

Well at least Iruka hadn't seen that he meant it, Kakashi decided to continue.

But he was not really sure why

'I heard the whole story from you uncle. My my Iruka-san, but keeping an entire family afloat with your body alone, you must be pretty impressive. Cant wait to see you in action.'

Damn, why did I say that? Stupid stupid kashi.

Although, honestly I can't.

Maybe, but I can't TELL him that, anyway it's hurting him. Aww... he looks so adorable when he is hurt. I want to hug him.

Then it struck Kakashi that he was hurting this man, because he obviously had touched a nerve by even bringing up the subject. Suddenly he felt really sorry. The thought of hurting such a perfect creature hurt him. Why the hell had he even brought this up. Some genius

While Kakashis brain processed this Iruka was getting angry. Had the jounin just came to see him to make a joke of him? What right did he have to make Iruka feel like this!

Because right now Iruka was shamed and embarrassed by his past and the fact that it was being talked about, angry at the fact Kakashi was mocking him in such a way and so cruelly, and intimidated by the fact that he and powerful man were all alone have a rather strange conversation.

Torn between anger at Kakashi and fear of consequences Iruka realised that staying were he was or attacking Kakashi were both stupid options, staying near this man was a very bad idea. So that left the one option, to flee and hope he wasn't chased.

Iruka leapt backward off the branch and ricocheted himself off another tree before taking off across the trees at full speed toward the village. He screamed behind him "Leave me alone, just please leave me alone!"

It was a few seconds before Iruka felt that he had tears streaming down his face.

--

Kakashi made no attempt to follow Iruka, he just stood there dumbstruck. He should have stopped and he hadn't and look what had happened and were there tears streaming down Irukas face?

'Oh fuck!' he thought. 'All I was trying to do was tell him a simple piece of information and as soon as I see him I freak out like some teenager and make pathetic cruel jokes! What I barsted I am!'

It worried but didn't surprise Kakashi that much that Iruka that taken off. I had been easy to see how upset the man was getting. Kakashi felt an intense ball of frustration at himself rise in his chest. Why did he have to act so stupidly around Iruka? And why couldn't he control himself around Him? Normally, Kakashi found it perfectly natural to exude an aura of calmness and put on a cavalier attitude, never seeming to give damn. But with Iruka that front almost crumbled away leaving a stuttering awkward man. Rather like Iruka-san in fact except for the fact that Kakashi couldn't pull off unsure in as nearly adorable way that Iruka could.

This by itself was distressing to Kakashi but adding to it was the fact that it was illogical and unreasonable but he felt absolutely awful that he had caused Iruka to cry and wanted to shoot himself for doing so.

Still standing on the large branch Kakashi didn't quite see that Umino Iruka was making him lose control.

a/n please review 


	7. Chapter 6

iruka was sitting in his study attempting to mark his pupils work

Ok, chapter 6 (or 7)

Just realised that this is only about a fifth of the plotline so this is gonna be pretty long. So please stick with us  there will be M later, don't worry

Anyway, hope you enjoy

Disclaimers: (havnt put any 4 ages) we do not own Naruto or Kakashi or iruka or many things

--

Iruka was sitting in his study attempting to mark his pupils work. but despite his attempts to keep his mind on the task it kept flickering between the look on Kakashis face as he confronted Iruka the day before and the look on Hedi Kisannis face when he left Iruka in the alley weeks before. How had a secret that he had managed to keep for the almost the last ten years come up twice in the last month?

Iruka didn't think he would be able to stand it if it became general knowledge. He thought of the looks he would get from the other villagers, especially the parents of the children he taught. Would Kakashi tell anyone? Before yesterday iruka would have doubted it, he had always been intimidated by Kakashi and was scared and awed by his reputation and power but Iruka had never thought of him as a bad person. But if he was a 'nice guy', why would he have taunted iruka and smirked so cruelly at him. Iruka didn't know what Kakashi would do but he was extremely scared of the truth coming out, the embarrassment and shame would be horrendous. Also the fact that Kakashi knew reminded him of Hedi and the fear that that, defiantly unpleasant, man would strike with what ever he was planning soon. what was he planning?, he probably couldn't rape him or anything as Iruka was a nin but blackmail seemed like a strong possibility the fear was heavy on his heart, stopping him from concentrating. He felt sick.

Iruka did not mark many papers that night.

--

The next day dawned grey with dull rain clouds and heavy cold air,

'Perfect' thought iruka, ironically

he slumped slowly to the academy carrying his half marked papers and a sad expression. opening the door to his classroom and avoiding a couple of paper kunais, he saw a note on his desk. in his current pessimistic state of mind he decided that it couldn't be good. he was right.

He reached his desk and picked it up.

'Iruka

I haven't forgotten about you

Hedi'

"Oh crap." Was his first though. It appeared he was right in his speculation on what Hedi was planning and that was defiantly not good. Iruka squirmed at what Hedi could, or would next do.

His day could not get any worse.

--

On his way back to his apartment, Iruka was pondering his options of getting out of his current mess and whether he was taking this too seriously when he saw a flash of white out of the corner of his eye. He turned around slowly praying that it was not what he thought it was. But, of course, there now in front of him was the last person he wanted to see- proving he was wrong and that yes his day could actually get worse.

'Kakashi-san, what do you want?'

"I wanted to see how you were Iruka-san" Grinned the tall man. "When we last parted you seemed a little, how shall I put it...flustered...seems it happens a lot"

Iruka turned bright red at the turn the conversation was taking. He knew that he had basically run away before because he couldn't cope with the situation and he knew it was childish and slightly cowardly. But he had hoped that Kakashi would be reserved enough to act like nothing had happened. Reserved? Kakashi? Ha!

"Oh..oh um...well um..yes..you see..um-" sputtered the dark haired man.

Kakashi interrupted this eloquent and confident speech "well I see that you are doing ok, well at least not too badly but I do wonder- aren't you a little bored?"

"Bored?" The question had taken him by surprise" Why would I be? I have many things to do and my time is occupied. I know my job is certainly worth while at least."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow "As a school teacher? Teaching small children how to throw foam kunai?"

Iruka's expression turned from half panicked to dangerous "And do you have a problem with that?" He said icily.

Kakashi shrugged. "Maa well it never seemed that important-."

Iruka's rising voice cut through him? "Important? It's not important is it? Well clearly not to Mr. I-got-through-academy-at-super-quick-double-time is it? Because it's not like the things those children learn will save there lives more times than they can count. It's not like the values they're taught will stop them from being just simple killing machines but decent human beings instead! Its not like every single chunin, jounin, and hokage this village has every had has been taught by my profession is it?! Throwing foam kunai?" Said Iruka angrily "You forget Kakashi-san that everybody starts somewhere and those foam kuni are the start of something deadly."

Kakashi was extremely taken aback by this new side of Iruka and rather impressed by it. It appeared that his job was a source of pride for Iruka and he didn't like it when it was insulted. 'Nothing wrong with that' was Kakashis true opinion but once again the adorable man had put him off balance and so he responded in the way that was fast becoming his custom, trying still to appear unaffected.

"I appear to have struck a nerve Iruka-san. But tell me this; if every body starts somewhere and their beginnings affect them so greatly then is that wonderfully zealous little speech of yours simply a bluff to cover up your beginnings so that people don't suspect them? "

Iruka didn't have any form of witty response for this but by pure luck he said something that broke through Kakashis defenses just as well. "Why? Kakashi-san? Why are you even bothering me? Why can't you leave me alone? What possible interest could I be to you?"

The visible part of Kakashi's face blanched and his eyes widened. Little did Iruka know that he had asked the one question that was plaguing Kakashi constantly. Kakashi couldn't think of a suitable answer, ANY answer and so before Iruka come sense his acute discomfort it was his turn to flee. And so with a puff of smoke he did.

--

Iruka slumped back against the nearest wall controlling himself and his breathing as best he could. Well that was embarrassing! Not only had the dreaded accusatory conversation been dredged up again but also Iruka had lost his temper and gone on a rant! Which then of course had been cooly cut down by Kakashi without him batting an eyelid.

But Iruka hadn't been able to help himself, he cared greatly about his job and it did really annoy him when people sneered at it but even then he wouldn't have reacted so violently in normal circumstances.

No, it was that damn man, with his damn smirk, his damn calmness and his damn cleverness. And the damn way he stood with is arms crossed as if nothing could stop him and the damn fact that in a way nothing could. and his damn hair and mask! Oh that mask! Never had a small piece of black material been so annoying. In Irukas opinion it should be burnt! Iruka huffed -angrily stupid Kakashi! and he was right as well! When Kakashi was around he did get 'flustered' a lot.

When Iruka had calmed down a little he remembered that he had missed his chance to ask Kakashi to keep the secret, as the man had rudely disappeared so suddenly and now he doubted that he would.

--

Kakashi slumped back against his wall and promptly began to bang his head against it. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

You go there to make amends with the man and you end up making him angry, then getting awkward and THEN running away! Like a small child!

Kakashi could hardly believe how he had acted. His was disgusted with him self for bringing up Irukas past again, which Iruka was clearly freaked by, as a thoughtless retort to a dressing down he should have accepted as his dues.

The only silver lining was the fact that Kakashi had learnt more about Iruka, like how he loved his job and took pride in it and how if given reason he had quite a temper and also how gorgeous his eyes looked when a strand of hair fell across them just so...-Wait WHAT? what had he just thought? Yet another mental picture of how lovely Iruka was? AGAIN?

'I must stop this!' Kakashi chided himself. He was sure that those thoughts were the root cause of why Kakashi acted that way around Iruka. Also it wasn't good to think such of another person without them knowing, like they were a piece of meat to be oggled at.

"But" said the voice at the back of Kakashi's head that gave him greater introspective insight "you don't think of him in just that way, you also think of him as a interesting, kind person, who's brave enough to carry on with his life even when there's trouble and now you think of him as a good person of caring about his work."

Kakashi grumbled to himself and tried to think of something else that wasn't Umino Iruka...and failed miserably.

a/n review

pleaseeeeeee!!


	8. Chapter 7

You see that, up the next day

You see that, up the next day. We rock 

Same as always… disclaimer…blah de blah…

also thanks to;

ryu earth

kareneko

and stephke23

for reveiwing lots and always saying nice things we love you :)

Enjoy

--

Kakashi spent the entire week stalking Iruka. Not that he thought of it as stalking, more gathering information. So the next Monday he found himself on a branch of one of the trees that overhung Irukas apartment. He watched disinterestedly as a man, a very ugly, greasy man, walked into the block. Because why would he be interested in anything that was not Iruka? Although the man did seem to have bad intentions by the way he was walking. Kakashis gut instincts made him quietly jump from the tree and switch to ninja mode. He followed the suspicious man up to the top floor. Iruka lived on the top floor. What was the man going to do and more importantly, was it anything to do with his Iruka? He felt a pang of anxiety and so kept following.

His suspect did stop outside the door to Irukas apartment and then slowly entered. Kakashi knew from his stalking that Iruka was inside so elected to say outside and listen through the door. He could not face Iruka after the last time he had embarrassed himself but he certainly could not leave his Iruka alone with the man. So he suppressed this chakra as much as he could and went into stealth mode which he doubted anyone would spot him in.

He started as he heard a crash of something breaking inside. His heart was beating very fast as he put his ear to the door and listened to the conversation within.

--

Iruka was having a good day. He was in such a good mood that he had let out class early and was now treating himself to a cup of sakura tea (I dunno, something in a mug). He was humming happily when he heard the door opening in the other room.

He stopped. Who could that be?

Iruka stepped out of his kitchen and saw who had just entered. He went still with shock and his cup slipped from his grasp. Smashing on the floor. The sweet smelling tea soaked unnoticed into the carpet.

'Hello, iruka-chan' smirked Hedi, obviously pleased with the reaction he had caused.

Irukas happy little bubble had just popped and reality hit him like cold water. He had almost forgotten about Hedi.

'What do you want? And how on earth did you get in?' he asked curtly, one he was over the shock of seeing this horrid man in his home, which he was sure he had dead locked.

'Me? All I did was mention to some weird dog Nin that I had been locked out and he broke the lock for me' Hedi replied in fake innocence. 'And what do I want? Why nothing, except maybe a little money, but i'm sure you wouldn't mind giving it to me, ne iruka-chan?'

'Why the hell would I give you money?' asked Iruka annoyed both at Hedi and how amazingly stupid kiba could be sometimes.

'Well because I have a few debts and we are such good friends'

Iruka choked 'friends!?'

'Well we have been on quite.. How shall I say... intimate... terms' Hedi smirked ' plus, if I do not receive any money for my debts then my tongue may just slip about a certain individuals not so respectable past'

'You wouldn't!' cried Iruka

'Wouldn't I?' came the reply

-BLACKMAIL- screamed the inner Iruka ( rather like sakura) what could he do, he could not give this man money but he defiantly couldn't let Hedi tell anyone. Iruka calmed his inner self so as not to panic. Should he give up some money or should he lose respect and reputation and possibly job? The choice was a no brainer

'How much?' he asked tiredly

'Not much, just a few thousand ryo' Hedi replied happy at seeing the defeat in the other mans eyes.

'WHAT?!'

Iruka could not afford that, not if he saved up an entire months worth of wages. He felt despair blossom inside his heart and pit drop from his stomach. This wasn't a choice at all!

' That's not fair, there is no way I can afford that, please just leave or even paid it back over a long period of time?' he pleaded he .

'No, I need that money, and quickly, and if you don't give it to me then I will be forced to tell' Hedi replied smugly. ' Come on Iruka be reasonable, I need money, and you need to keep a secret, what isn't fair.'

'No' stated Iruka 'I will not give you any money, I will not give in to black mail, tell them. I don't care' Irukas voice wavered as he said the last three words, because he did care. He liked his life but he had no other choice, if it were only a little money then maybe he could have paid, but there no way he could ever find that amount.

'Fine,' announced Hedi and walked briskly toward the door but when he was halfway there he hesitated as if something had just occurred to him. Then slowly he pivoted on a foot and smiled at Iruka.

Iruka tensed, he could guess that what was coming wasn't good.

"You know Iruka I'm surprised that you're so ashamed of your glory days. You didn't seem to mind that much back then" Leered Hedi, "I remember when you used to shake that tight little ass around your living room. You wore nothing but those lovely skin tight black pants, I remember you always asked your father if you were doing alright?, if you were making him proud. Ah! Such innocence. My god you were soo damn hot it made me hard, made a lot of people hard. But then again you always were too fuckable for your own good personally I was always amazed that you didn't end up as a whore a shame really you would have a good one. Or maybe you did," Hedi appeared to be enjoying watching Irukas semi-tortured expression as he paused for effect," I wonder how many people you spread those legs for to get yourself into this 'respectable hidden village. Probably why you're still single now you know, because everyone knows what a slut you are. So I suppose it doesn't matter if they do know about your past does it? ' Hedi left the question hanging making it clear that it clearly did still matter.

Iruka mentally struggled under the weight of accusations, insinuations and insults to find his voice, "out Hedi just get out" he whispered his voice wavering quite a lot now "out of my home now, I will not give you anything at all now or ever"

Hedi's face screwed out at this denial and he slouched out of the apartment. As soon as he was out the door Iruka sunk to the floor filled with despair.

--

Meanwhile Kakashi was seeing red. His masked face contorted with pure anger. How dare that man say things like that to Iruka. All those insults and threats! And he was blackmailing him! How could anyone use such an awful thing against such a good man as Iruka to get MONEY! Kakashi was frankly readily to kill Hedi and he really wanted to. But Kakashi retrained himself, the one thing that he always tried not to be was a mindless killing machine and he could stop now.

He had to stop Hedi before he could hurt his Iruka any more. The sound of Irukas strained voice told him that the man was not in a good way. Should He got and make sure that Iruka was alright? No Kakashi knew that he was probably the last person Iruka wanted to see, and rightly to!

Treating Iruka little better than that disgusting Hedi man had! How could he. Kakashi vowed to himself that he would very be the cause of Irukas pain ever again. It was the best He could do to making up for what he had done.

But now stop Hedi and ensure he could never hurt his Iruka again. Kakashi silently followed him away from Irukas apartment until he was out of ear shot of Iruka and then waited for Hedi to turn down am empty alley way before overtaking Hedi and giving him a vicious turning kick to the stomache and punching him in the nose, breaking it, as he went down. Then whipping out a kunai and pointing it directly at his throat.

"Wha-!" Started an outraged Hedi.

"Quiet" Cut through the ice cold voice of Kakashi his anger showing through." You are luckier than you deserve, if I were Iruka-san than you would already be dead. As it is your life still hangs in the balance as I'm having a hard time restraining myself from killing you." Kakashi punctuated this by stamping down hard on the mans ankle which gave a sickening crunch.

"Now I am only going to say this once and I'd listen because its the only thing that will keep you alive." continued Kakashi then this voice turned dangerously quiet and deadly," if you ever EVER come near my Iruka again, I promise that I'll make you wish that you've never been born and THEN I'll kill you. You are going to get up as soon as I let go of you and leave this village and never come back. Count yourself lucky that I don't just kill you now for talking like that to Iruka, you're not worthy to lick his shoes!"

Hedi summoned the last scraps of his bravado and tried to sneer "oh yes and who are you to tell me this and make such big threats" he snorted thought the blood flowing from his nose "These could be empty threats and I can carry one as I like" It was clear the ugly man didn't believe this himself and all it succeed in doing was making Kakashi even more angry. His aura of death flooded the alleyway as his words echoed of the walls.

"I am Hatake Kakashi, and my reputation might have succeeded me but if not, let me tell you that I can kill men like you in less than second without blinking and that man who you just so vilely threatened is the man who I would willing kill a innocent thousand people for just so he didn't spill one drop of blood and killing you for him would be nothing" Kakashi hissed.

Hedi greasy face blanched, making it clear that he did know would Kakashi was. Without making eye contact in struggled to his feet and limped away.

Kakashi breathed again still angry but surprised at himself. Kill thousand people? He hadn't realised that he felt that strongly about Iruka. But think about it he realised that he did and he didn't regret what he had said. But why did Kakashi feel so strongly, he couldn't explain it, it was totally irrational and illogical. Why did he care so much about Iruka.

Kakashi skimmed through possibilities and the only one that he could think of was...dare he say it love?

But Kakashi knew that true love at first sight didn't exist and so he told himself that he was wrong and ignored it.

Besides The important thing now was to make sure that Iruka was alright.

--

A/n reviewww


	9. Chapter 8

A/N thanks for reading our story. We have reviews REVIEWS! (Enters review fuelled bliss) um but just a heads up 1) this story is bout 1/2 done maybe less so its goings to be a long one. 2) In later chappters there is going to be lots of angst and some torture but dw, as we will make up for it by ridiculously large amount of smut and fluff. Ok then that's that. So sorry it's been a while since we updated we have been on hols.

Disclaimer: we don't own Naruto weeps and never will. Though we do own this sad little fanfic...

Also, love to loveslavender, KareNeko, Stepkhe23, and Ryu Earth for always reviewing us and making us jump around the room with happiness! And we KNOW that we have 20 alerts but not that many reviews for this chapter so please please please review us, as we really aren't above stalking your fan fiction accounts in order to get reviews and will love you forever! Please!

Ok so enjoy this chappie. And REVIEW!

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Iruka's world was over; Hedi was going to tell everyone. The feeling of his despair was crushing Iruka as he thought over the consequences of Hedi revealing his secret, especially if he used the fake accusations of how Iruka had gotten his position. He would surely be sacked from his job at the academy and everybody would look at him in disgust.

He knew he should have done something when Hedi was there in the room with him. Iruka was supposed to be clever, yet he could think of nothing to save himself, other than attacking him, which would have been downright crude, from the fate he was now doomed to. He hung his head dejectedly as he felt the hopelessness of his situation take hold.

--

Kakashi walked happily up to Iruka's apartment. Iruka could be so relieved that Hedi was not coming back and Kakashi was reasonably hopeful he would forgive Kakashi for treating him as he had, considering he was the reason that Iruka's problem had vanished. Although thinking about how he left Iruka emotionally splattered all over his apartment in tiny Chuunin bits (yes we know that line isn't ours thanks KareNeko) made Kakashi heart lurch with guilt. He should have come back, told him sooner rather than leaving Iruka alone, and panicked like that for so long. Still Kakashi was so grateful that he had been able to do something helpful to a man, that he cared about, although a small part of had enjoyed that power he had had over that vile man that had caused Iruka so much pain. He bounced enthusiastically to the door anticipating the possible reaction to his news.

--

There was a knock on the door and Iruka groaned loudly. The very last thing he wanted was company especially since he knew that it was a certain damned someone who had a habit of turning up at the worst moments. Even worst than that- maybe his secret was already out and this was someone coming to confront him! Oh, Kami his life really was truly awful...

Iruka contemplated getting up and answering it, but decided it was too much hassle and so sank further into his daze of self-pity.

A few moments later, there was a louder more persistent knock

'oh for fucks sake' moaned Iruka as he pulled himself up to see whoever it was that was so desperate to enter his house and hoping that whatever they were going to do him would be over soon so he could return to wallowing in pity.

He stumbled to the door and looked out. Before groaning even louder and asked while attempting his best death glare.

'What the hell do you want' he demanded (no he was not in the best of moods)

Kakashi's ecstatic mood disappeared state of his chunnin. He suddenly didn't know what to say.

'Iruka... um...' he started awkwardly.

'Oh just go away Kakashi-sensei' said Iruka 'I don't want to see you, ever, but especially not now'

'But...'

'No, just go away' Iruka felt the black feelings that he had been experiencing bottle up into massive frustration at Kakashi. it must be, at least partly, this man's fault that his life was ruined and yet he had the nerve to strut up to Iruka's door whenever he felt like it and tease and mock Iruka for fun. Did Kakashi have reason to be treating a fellow person like that for no good reason? No! Screamed Iruka's inner Sakura. Iruka was angry, scared and in a very, very bad mood- he wanted to throttle someone and that masked neck looked tempting...

Kakashi (bless his little cotton socks) decided to spit it out so Iruka would cheer up and stop trying to get rid of him "no Iruka-san I won't you see I have just had ,ahem, conversation with Hedi" Kakashi voice turned lower and bitter when he said this name.

However, Iruka however failed to notice this as his brain had just heard Kakashi, the man who would not stop teasing him about his past, say that he was talking to Hedi, the man who was using his past against him. You can hardly blame the stressed Iruka for jumping to the conclusion that him did.

"What the hell?! I should have expected this, I really should have. I mean yes, you're a respected shinobe from this village but really your worst than him!

I'd have thought that you weren't so desperate for money that you'd have to blackmail it off someone like me. Or maybe this isn't for the money. Likely as not you're just doing this for your sick twisted amusement!" Then to the overwrought Iruka's horror his voice stayed from angry, outrage to tearful, and just dumped teenage girl-esque. "I mean him I fully expected it from but you! Well you don't mind at all. I'm guessing you probably find this funny. As you've made it well and truly clear that you don't give a shit about me! Oh god this is just pathectic. I'm just pathetic. Get out before I have a nervous break down. Get out and have your fun ruining my life with that other bastard. It's all I deserve I suppose."

Iruka sniffed and slammed the door shut again and then sunk once more to the floor.

--

Kakashi's hair practically flopped with disappointment. He felt utterly awful, rejected and pathetic.

His former hopefulness was idiotic he realised. Of course, Iruka had thought he was in league with Hedi given his record of accomplishment about how he treated the poor man.

He had wanted to make everything all right for Iruka but had managed to screw things up so badly he doubted Iruka would ever talk to him again.

This thought gave Kakashi a stab of pain. What if Iruka hated him truly? The idea made Kakashi want to curl up in a little ball and die. Life without Iruka seemed paltry, boring and unbearable.

"Unbearable?" thought Kakashi. Hmm it had only been a few days (or weeks not sure change it) since he had found out Iruka's secret and this whole thing had started. Kakashi thought back to then, he remembered how it had all been a curiosity, an amusement to him. Even his rapidly developing feelings for Iruka had been regarded with nothing more than interest. Now he felt like he would rather die than see Iruka in more pain and if he could, he would reverse the situation so that he would have to suffer. He wondered at how the smallish brunette could warrant such strong reactions from him of such a short space of time.

Kakashi was about to enter an angst filled, over emotional, weepy moment (can you think of a better word?) about why he felt this way about Iruka when he realised that he was smarter than this and he already knew.

He'd read about it in so many stories and seen it so many times but he had never experienced it so hadn't recognised it instantly. But HELL he should have figured this out sooner, he was supposed to be a genius!

Kakashi would have giggled if his situation weren't so depressing. Because Kakashi now knew that he was head over heals in love with Iruka and the man probably hated him.

Kakashi began to think logically again...well what did he want? He surprised himself instead of just thinking "Iruka" he thought "For Iruka to be happy". So what would make Iruka happy?

Firstly, never seeing Hedi again, but Kakashi had already dealt with that, so what else? For Iruka to know that no one was going to find out about his past and that he was safe from it. Well that could be fixed with a simple note.

Other than that... Kakashi winced at this thought, as the other thing that would make Iruka happy would obviously be to never see Kakashi again. Well as much as he hated it, he could do that if it made Iruka happy.

Therefore, Kakashi vowed to just leave a note explaining things to Iruka and leaving him alone. You see hears the thing about Kakashi on most things his just a lazy ass who is always late and never gives a damn but on things he care's about, and I mean REALLY cares about, he will stop at nothing to make sure that that thing for person is ok.

In addition, for Kakashi, Iruka was now the most important thing in the universe and anything and everything must be done for him to be happy. Which not only meant staying away from Iruka but also making sure that no body, but no body, could ever hurt his precious Iruka ever again.

Kakashi stood plotting various ways and means of protecting Iruka and hurting those who hurt him until he looked up and saw that he was still standing outside Iruka's apartment and had been for several minutes. Well "no time like the present" he thought so he leapt and out the nearest window and went to find out if he could discreetly cut down Iruka's working hours.

--

BETA COMMENT: Right well, there I was, offering to BETA this for her at 1:49 in the morning. I didn't realise what I was getting myself into. EVERY OTHER WORD IS A SPELLING MISTAKE. In a nice way.

Have fun reading the BETA version, thank god you didn't have to go through rows of mispelt words such a "espeshally". Love to all. **Laysh** x


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**A/N****: hi so sorry it's been a while since we updated...I was dragged up a mountain...anywho to make up for it have an extra long chapter with a cute Kakashi bit at the end. (at least I think its cute). Hopefully you like it and forgive us for ourlateness. F.Y.I reviews make us update faster and they make us write better...soo guess what your gonna do...REVIEW!!.**

**As always sorry if theres spelling and grammer mistakes we do try really hard to find them but they still turn up.**

**DISCLAIMER: No we don't own naruto and proabely never will...or at least thats whaat THEY think...**

Iruka crawled out of bed the next morning expecting the worst. His mind was full of visions of disgusted faces, horrified looks and being chased out of the village. He had slept poorly that night and he really couldn't find the strength to get out of bed. The poor man was pretty sure that today was going to be absolutely awful.

He wondered if Hedi or Kakashi would have told everyone yet. He cringed when he thought of Kakashi and his break down in front of him last night, well that wasn't excruciatingly embarrassing was it now?

The man probable thought he was pathetic and useless and even now might be telling the world Iruka's secret. Well there was nothing for it, he would have to get up and face the day like a man, no matter how bad it would be.

He washed and dressed but felt too nauseous to eat anything so just grabbed his marking book and set off for the academy. Nobody was giving him weird looks and avoiding him, which meant that either word hadn't gotten around yet or neither Hedi nor Kakashi had told any one yet. Neither of these prospects cheer Iruka up. He knew Hedi and how cruel he was, and since he didn't have the money hedi would tell. And Kakashi...well there was no way he could look him in the eye again let alone talk to him. Besides the bastard wouldn't help him again way- look at how he had betrayed Iruka!

Iruka considered running away from the village all together but thought it cowardly and so plunged on with his day feeling like hell.

As he walked nervously into his class, iruka felt the distinct lack of hateful glances and hushed whispers. this should have raised his hopes but iruka thought he knew his luck to well for kakashi and hedi not to have done anything. he continued, terrified that any minute someone would jump up and shout at him, or an official would request for him to see the hokage. but strangely the entire morning passed without anything unusual happening, apart from a few student asking him in worried tones if he was alright. This terrified him at first because maybe they knew that something was wrong because their parents had said something, but it turned out that he just looked terrible. Well, he felt terrible. the suspense was killing him, that day felt like one of the longest in his life, but finally it was over. as he walked home he wondered why no-one seemed to know. Did hedi and kakashi have something even more horrible planned for him?

he did not sleep much that night and woke for the second time filled with absolute despair. he had decided that kakashi and hedi liked to keep him in suspense, that they liked the torture that they were putting him through. as he washed his face wearily and tried to rub the grit out of his eyes iruka noticed how terrible he looked. what had he done to deserve this? he supposed that it was punishment for betraying his father and leaving them like he did. But damn it! he thought the man fucking deserved it!, that was one of the stupid things about the world. However unfair Iruka's situation was that was just life. the stupid hateful world with its stupid people and stupid whores and stupid lies. Iruka sank to the floor of his bathroom and hit his head, hard, on the sink. pain blinded him as he felt the blood drip from his head. the stupid world hated him, and he hated it. The heaviness in irukas heart turned black as he thought of everything that he had had to put up with, things that he felt were just unfair. he did so much for everyone but now they were bound to hate him and if not now would very soon.

iruka did not go into work that day

the next few weeks past the same way with iruka dragging himself out of bed. he went into to work, hit and miss, he forced himself to drone on to his pupils. he sat at the missions desk and moaned to himself then dragged himself home to try and get some sleep (and fail). His life quickly became nothing more than a struggle through daily routines hoping that he could make it each day. Some times he couldn't and would end up curl on his bed shivering. All the things that he used to take delight in : his pupils, his garden, his booking and reading, stop having any interest for him spend his free time just trying to hold himself together.

one Thursday exactly three weeks after the incident with kakashi, iruka was having an especially bad day. Although he had made it to work he was certain that something was going to happen. (is it just me or is iruka a bit paranoid). For once he was right about this as about half way through the first lesson one of his fellow teachers came in and requested for him to see the hokage.

The bottom fell out of Iruka's stomach and he blanched. Oh kami, oh no, oh no nonono- raved this thoughts but his mouth managed t stutter "O-okay, umn, please can you take over here with the lesson please."

his jelly filled legs barely carried him out of the classroom before he started to shake. Oh no no no! It must be happening! Kakashi or Hedi must have told! And now he was going to have to face the consequences. It like he was going to collapse. He was nearly hyperventilating, his eyes were filling with tears and the shaking was worsening. 'nonononononononononono' chanted his thoughts like a mantra. But then Iruka began to get a hold on himself. "You knew this was going to happen," he told himself, "You should be prepared to face the consequences of it, there's nothing for it, you have to face them and pull yourself together and get to the hokage tower without showering your fear, act like the chunnin that you pretend to be!"

Iruka little self pep talk enabled him to make his way up to the tower. On the way there be began to construct a shell around himself to prepare for his very own worst case scenario. Little by little he calmed himself to make his breathing regular, to stand up straight and school his face to show no emotion and just bear it. Instead of "nonononononono" the mantra "What cannot be cure must be endured" Ran through his head. he couldn't stop this situation so his was just going to have to endure it.

The sum of all this left Iruka looking and acting, on the outside at least, a lot calmer by the time he was knocking on the tsunade's door.

"Come in"

Iruka walked in and noticed that he was alone with hokage "Well at least I won't have to deal with this in front of a crowd of people " Iruka thought pessimistically. But he wasn't going to speak first, he didn't want to put himself in a worse situation than he already was.

"Iruka-sensei I've called you heart on reports" Iruka gritted his teeth "What cannot be cure must be endured", "From your fellow teachers" she finished.

Iruka blinked. O-kaaay so were was this going?...

"In the last three weeks you have taken six sick days, three of which you didn't phone anyone before hand." tsunade was reading notes off a piece of paper. "Also you have turned up late twice and gone home early twice."

She glanced up at a stupefied Iruka. He didn't say a word so she continued.

"But furthermore, and this is what worried me, is the fact that, according to both your colleges from both the mission desk and the academy, All this time of seem utterly necessary and well deserved. They are saying that you don't look like you're getting any sleep, that you don't appear to be eating much, if any, and that your normally brilliant work performance has gone down hill. You've also became unsociable and irritable all without any sort of visible Provocation nor any explanation"

Iruka gaped. So this was clearly nothing to do with his past, but with his performance right now. How could he be so stupid as to show his true state! And how unfair was the world that he was this was picked up on so quickly! I mean it was him how had an absolutely spotless record, who had helped and solved so many problems, who had barely done a thing wrong, how unfair was it that he go in trouble about it sooo quickly!

In part Iruka was angry at himself for being so careless but three week sadness and fear were turning into anger which wasn't helped by the severe lack of sleep. He tried to calm himself he could get through this it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be "What cannot be cured must be endured, what cannot be cured must be endured".

The hokage ploughed on "However you have not been seeking any sort of medical help at all nor have you been on a mission recently enough to be experiencing any sort of post traumatic problems" She looked up from her paper and switched from being an administrator into a caring human being. "Iruka-sensei I'll level with you, I'm not angry about your poor work or anything like that, in truth I'm, we're all, really worried about you, there's defiantly something wrong and no-one know what"

Meanwhile in Iruka head "Really worried? How dare they! They didn't have to suffer through everyday day of thinking that it'll come out, they don't have to deal with the fear of being rejected and disowned by every one they love. THEY don't end of staying up all night because they can't sleep, THEY don't have to know that none of it was there fault and that its unfair but its still going to happen anyway! THEY didn't know that person who was most likely going to bring the world crashing down around their heads and STILL have a FUCKING CRUSH on said person, do they?! " Iruka had now gotten angry and couldn't calm himself.

"What can't be cured must be endured, what can't be cured must be endured, what can't be cured-" and then something that had been straining under three week of pressure snapt.

"Well Hosakge-sama I've terrible sorry for making every worry about me" he started his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But be assured that my silly little life will trouble you no longer if you simple stop giving a damn"

"There's no need to take that tone with me Iruka!" Tsunade snapped back." I don't know what your going thought right now but trust me I mean you no harm. I can help; if you just let me look at you to see if anything is medically wrong..."

"Medically wrong? Ha!" Iruka sounded bitter, "No it's not that and it's nothing that your, or anyone else's, pity can cure, just leave me be...until you see fit to deal with me!"

"Wha-? Iruka-sensei I don't understand you or why you're angry. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"No I won't because despite what you say I don't you'll care in the long term and I really can't fucking deal with anyone else knowing! " Iruka screeched.

"Iruka you are getting out of hand" the hokage's voice now sounded authoritative and deadly, "You cannot you on like this, I hereby suspend you from all missions, all desk work and from your teaching position, this is by no means a permanent thing. But this village cares about you and you really need to recover from this- depression- I recommend that you try to figure out what ever your problem is. In the mean time you will go to the hospital once a week for a check up until i say otherwise. You are dismissed."

Iruka very nearly crumbled onto the floor, He just about managed to get out of the office before the shaking, breathing, and worst of all, crying started up again. He was a fool! To get angry like that for no reason! He was very lucky no to lose his job altogether! And the humiliation of having to be checked up! Iruka felt pathetic and wretched. The fact that it wasn't what his worst fears were didn't cheer him up at all. Because since he had just shouted at his boss, when it did come out it would probably be even worse.

"And of course" Iruka thought bitterly as tears streamed down his face as he made for home, "This time it was all his fault!"

--

kakashi was trying very hard to think of anything but iruka. He hadn't seen iruka in almost a month and he was beginning to suffer withdrawal symptoms. He had tried his very hardest to stay away from Iruka and it made him feel miserable. What hurt him the most what not knowing if Iruka was alright or not. He hoped that Iruka had fully understood the note explaining how his past would never trouble him again and how Kakashi would leave him alone. kakashi had been so tempted to put "love from" at the end of it but restrained himself thinking that it would only freak his love. Kakashi had left the note as a place marking in the book Iruka was currently reading as he knew that it was unlikely that anyone else would find it and since he knew that Iruka read a lot he was sure to find it quickly.

Kakashi stopped and looked around, typically is feet had unconsciously led him to irukas street, so he turned around and walked back, finally sitting in a tree that happened to look over the route that iruka would normally walk home by. kakashi pulled out icha icha and spent the next half hour trying to distract his dolphin starved mind.

Some time later Kakashi heard something, something that sounded like someone crying. He glanced over his shoulder at the road below and felt his heart constrict. IRUKA... crying... kakashi suddenly forgot that iruka hated him and felt an overwhelming need to do something to help then man that he loved, Kakashi couldn't bear to think of his 'ruka hurting. Kakashi followed Iruka to his door before slowly approaching him.

He was right behind iruka when kakashi unmasked his chakra and let his presence be felt. iruka spun around wildly and stared at kakashi, utterly confused.

iruka seemed to compose himself slightly.(yet again)

'What the hell do you want? I thought you were supposed to be busy trying to ruin my life.' he said in a weak voice

kakashi frowned- confused, but dismissed it to think about the more important issue of killing whoever made Iruka cry. And it was best to get to the point. His worry for iruka overpowering his need for iruka not to hate him. so he put on his best 'i was just wondering, but i dont really care' voice and said, rather tentatively,

'i was just wondering why you were crying, and if i could do anything to help?'

Unfortunatly this wasn't the best thing to say because it caused iruka to react violently,

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY AM I CRYING!? why do you think, genius? Also I think you have done quite enough to 'help'. So why are asking me this? You don't give a damn about me, you just using me to satisfy your boredom! LEAVE ME ALONE!!' ranted Iruka angrily. This was the very last thing that he could deal with.

Kakashi winced inwardly at Iruka's words, they hurt a surprisingly large amount. Iruka clearly thought he wanted to hurt him or that he was bulling Iruka, he began to speak quickly and urgently trying to get the message across to Iruka clearly.

'You can say a lot of this about me Iruka-san but don't you dare say that I don't give a damn about you. Seeing you over these past few weeks and seeing your state deteriorate...I've barely slept at all, I'm getting to the point were I'll do pretty much anything to make you feel better, and as for the people who hurt you, well its taking every once of self control I posses to keep myself from ripping them to shreds and hiding you away some were only I know about and not letting anybody hurt you ever again, so Iruka don't you ever EVER tell me that I don't care about you.!'

Kakashi saw Iruka's shocked face and couldn't believe that he had just said that. All of a sudden he was nervous and embarrassed and so he began babbling.

'The only thing I can think of that would make you like this is the whole Hedi thing but I thought you knew that that was over...I left you a note...but was never in league with Hedi and the reason that your story hasn't been uncovered yet is because I stopeed him and I'm really really sorry your hurt and I-'

Iruka pulled him self together sufficiently to interrupt. "Wait! what note?."

Kakashi stopping his babbling. "Well I left a note in your book, the one with the bookmark in...so that only you would find it..." He trailed off as he saw Iruka pale.

Iruka was panicking "I haven't picked up a book since this whole thing started...I've been too depressed...so there might be a note" raved one part of his mind whilst another said, "what hell did Kakashi just say! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!."

Kakashi composed himself, as he had managed to lose control of his words and emotions in front of Iruka again. But there was one last thing that he needed to say...

'I will do absolutely anything you want me to.'

Kakashi looked at the completely stunned look on Iruka's face for approximately 3.5 seconds before the part of Iruka's mind that was going "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! took over and made Iruka quickly turned around and slam the door in his face.

Taking that as rejection Kakashi slumped home.

--

**thanks for reading ! If you like our writing go onto our file and read some of our other stuff!**

**Also please note that that was a really long chapter ******

**please please please please please review! We'll do anything! and we'll mention you next chapter! please! it makes us feel loved!**


	11. Chapter 10

Hands up… please don't kil us I know we hant updated for months but there has been so much going on.. anyway we have beta-ed the whole fic so far and I wil be reposting shortly. Fear not we should have the next chappie posted by the end of this week, sorry if this is crap we wrote it in a bit of a rush so you wouldn't have to wait any longer, may also reupload this chapter-improved

Sorry again (you know if anyone was waiting for this)

Neoandtheangrywhite flag.

---

Kakashi woke the next morning feeling like a spent force which wasn't a usual emotion for the powerful copy Nin. He had lost his control with Iruka again but this time he had actually managed to say and explain what he wanted. Too bad that reality prevailed and Iruka- Kakashi didn't want to continue that thought, his past happy love filled images of him and Iruka together were marred by the truth. This was that Iruka didn't like him let alone LOVE him and Kakashi was a fool, a clown for believing that it could have been otherwise.

He felt a weariness in his bones from the whole affair and wanted shot of it. He decided that keeping a tighter control of his feeling and perhaps immersing himself even more in his work and missions would be the answer. After all it was such a comparatively short time that Kakashi had been acting and feeling like this so it couldn't be that had to break free of. He tried repeating this idea in his mind hoping it would become true but it made he feel unbalanced and unhappy to think of dispensing of Iruka so quickly. Kakashi knew that it wouldn't really be possible to leave Iruka in the pathway of a cruel oncoming world. A person that special just couldn't be abandoned. To most people it might seem that our sexy jounin was being narcissistic and selfish in continuing to pursue Iruka when it was clear he didn't want it. But...

No, Kakashi knew that Iruka didn't want him and he wasn't going to anything to try and change that. But that didn't mean that he was going to let anything hurt the brunet EVER. So he was just going to have to be more careful in making sure he wasn't caught.

This idea at last gave him conviction and hope. A faraway anonymous protector would be all that he asked to be.

--------

Iruka woke up expecting to feel like hell. His brain was telling him that he had had another run in with his apparent silver hair harasser. But Iruka stomache was doing little flips of happiness and excitement and he felt light and care free.

Mentally he ran through what had happened last night (he seemed to be doing this a lot)

-He had had a shitty day. Check.

-The day went from bad to worse when he was called to Hokage's office and reprimanded. Check

-it all went down hill when he screamed at his boss. Check

-Stumbling out of said boss's office in tears. Check

-Seeing the person who was indirectly the cause of all his problems. Check

-Screaming at Kakashi (again). Check

-Kakashi calming telling him that he cared about Iruka and didn't want to ever to see him get hurt. Che- Then Iruka stomache deiced to do several happy flips at this point and his heart pounded in is chest.

"Now think Iruka" Iruka stood up and got out of bed. "This is very important" his thought berated him. "What else did Kakashi say to you?

Well..."don't you dare say that I don't give a damn about you", and "seeing your state deteriorate ....I've barely slept at all" and happily "I'm getting to the point were ill do pretty much anything to make you feel better"

hmmmmmmmmmm

Iruka felt himself beginning to grin and he got that tight bubbly feeling in his chest that was a mixture and anticipation and glee. And then Kakashi had said "as for the people who hurt you, well it's taking every once of self control I poses to keep myself from ripping them to shreds and hiding you away some were only I know about and not letting anybody hurt you every again" Iruka practically wiggled in his own excitement.

Ohhh! and then "'I will do absolutely anything you want me to'!! Iruka let out and small squeak of delight at the memory before flopping dramatically back onto his bed.

Then another line flouted into his head "I was never in league with Hedi and there is a reason that your story hasn't been uncovered yet..."

Oh shit! Went Irukas mind. Leaping up from the bed again he ran from his round with frantic movements and got quite far before he realised that he had no idea were he was going and no idea what he was going to do when he got there.

So he concentrated onto what he did know. Which was that judging from the bubbly feeling in his chest and stomache that the small ickle hateful crush he had had on Kakashi had been blown to epic proportions by that speech Kakashi had made last night. and judging from the then unrecongised expression of pure sincerity and frankness Kakashi had when he was claiming that he wasn't in league with Hedi and the split second look of heart break on his face after Iruka began to react to this speech, Kakashi probably, almost certainly, wasn't trying to blackmail mail him about his past. Thirdly it was possible, just possible that Kakashi, might, be just a little bit interested in Iruka, judging again from that speech. And fourthly and finally Iruka clearly hadn't thought of any of this at all last night as he had slammed the door in Kakashis face.

So, all in all, he really should still feel like shit. Except he didn't. As internally Iruka was jumping up and down and clapping his hands in delight in a very school girlish manner. He tried to calm himself down but couldn't. Despite the situation and circumstances, Iruka was amazingly gleeful.

It was a Saturday morning and he had nothing to and since he was far too weirdly happy to do grading he decided to try and read. "Kami" he thought "I haven't read anything in months" He thought and he went across his apartment to get his book. He picked it up sat down on a chair and found, to his surprise, a piece of folded paper there instead of his book mark. "Huh?" he thought as he unfolded it and began to read.

About 30 seconds later Iruka realised that he had stopped breathing.

The note was dated a few weeks back, in the middle of those confrontations he had had with Kakashi, just after he had last seen Hedi and accused Kakashi of collaborating with him. . It read:

Dear Iruka,

I would say this to your face but the last conversation we had ended badly and I don't think you want to speak to me; but I need you to know this: I never had and never will tell anyone about your past. It was unforgivable for me to tease you and make inappropriate comments about it as it's a truly horrendous thing to have to deal with. Hedi will not bother you ever again, I had a word with him after I saw him treat you that way and blackmail you and I really doubt he will ever even return to this village. I was not working with Hedi in any way but can totally understand how to would think that I was and words cannot describe how sorry it makes me that you had to go through that worry and fear. Hopefully you will get this note quickly so that your life can continue as normal.

From now on I will not bother you as I expect you never want to talk to me again. I feel truly horrified and remorseful at the way I treated you and I fully understand and accept if you never want to speak to me again.

Forever sorry

Kakashi.

Iruka didn't know weather to smile or cry. The letter would have saved him so much trouble and angst over the past few weeks if he had found it earlier but the sheer heart stopping and cuteness of it made Iruka feel all bubbly inside again. Combined with what Kakashi had said to him before Iruka was beginning to really hope that Kakashi might see him as more than a friend. And, oddly enough, this made Iruka all but giggle with glee.

He felt that he couldn't stay inside now, he was flying and buzzing and well living now so much for that. And so vented by going for a walk through the village and out the other side. Mentally he tried to put his life in order. It was a futile task, too many loose ends and unknowns. He wasn't sure how to feel or to think. Unsurprisingly there was only one person who could help him. And Iruka couldn't find it in himself not to overjoy at an excuse to see Kakashi again.

A/n Please review… and tell how to improve

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	12. Chapter 11

Well, you didn't have to wait too long. And it is four pages 

Ok the usual, disclaimer- we still do not own Kakashi, Iruka or Naruto.

Sorry about any errors and such like, we try to get rid of them.

Um.. enjoy

Neoandtheanrywhiteflag

---

Kakashi was feeling surprisingly high and mighty about his life right now. Well at least in comparison to the way that he'd been feeling before. He had kept away from Irukas house that morning and had planned his day around his team and a meeting with the Hokage, and not stalking his favorite person.

It was strange, he knew so much about Iruka but had barley talked to him outside of teasing and arguments. He knew a lot about and caring, kind, strong minded, hot headed, and proud Iruka was, but had not actually spoken to him that much. This was probably the reason that Kakashi loved Iruka whilst Iruka hated Kakashi. And it was his own fault; he had never tried to talk to Iruka in a normal situation, not once.

Kakashi tried to stop thinking about Iruka and headed toward the training grounds. He hadn't had a proper work out in a while. Once he had arrived, he quietly surveyed the shinobi of Konoha, working and running and sparring across the open area. The thing that drew his eye, was, the ever exuberant, Maito Gai leaping across the ground with both hands behind his back singing, "she'll be coming round the mountain"

As soon as the gleeful shinobi spotted Kakashi, he raced up to him to challenge his rival to a duel. Kakashi nodded his head in agreement and the contest started.

---

Iruka was partly laughing at himself for being such a pathetic teenager girl. It was ridiculous, but images of Kakashi were swirling round his head. It was utterly unrealistic but Iruka had come to the conclusion that, well, he LIKED Kakashi. This was stupid because a) he didn't really know anything thing about he copy-nins actual personality b) Kakashi knew far more about him that he wanted him to and c) he had never managed to have a conversation with Kakashi without one of them storming off or doing something melodramatic.

However Iruka saw Kakashi's mystery as alluring and a challenge, and more importantly, Kakashi seemed to be, at least, protective and caring about Iruka (the note and the hiding to away all to myself conversation) which made Iruka not so much nervous but excited and, dare he say it, hopeful that, maybe, Kakashi had something a little more than a crush on him.

Of course, the other more shallow reason he had a crush on Kakashi, was the fact that the man was, well, gorgeous, Iruka tried to make a point of not thinking about other peoples body's in that way, but Kakashi was a serious exception. Tall, pale, stunning and unusual, combined with a, literally, killer body and flawless muscles, gave Kakashi something that, when mixed with his dangerous/scary aura, made him perfect fantasy material.

Iruka pondered all these things as he went on walking, hoping that he would bump into Kakashi. Once he realised that he was wondering aimlessly he made his way over to the training grounds to try and do something vaguely productive, like train possibly.

Upon reaching it he saw a straining Maito Gai in crab position with several rocks on his belly counting (he was up to 187).

"What is it this time, Gai-senpai?" Iruka asked jokingly.

"My hip and smooth rival Kakashi has bested me in a challenge, to redeem myself I shall stay in this position and count to thousand!" Beamed Gai

Covering his extreme interest; Iruka asked nonchalantly, "Did you happen to see were Kakashi-san went Gai-senpai? Is he late for something or other?"

It was a long shot, Iruka doubted it was like Kakashi to divulge were he was going.

"Ah, yes, he went to enjoy a healthy and intriguing lunch at the wonderful new youthful pizzeria on the main street, I heard my companion mention something about something called an 'American hot'".

Iruka thanked Gai a little too enthusiastically (not that Gai would notice) and planned to think of excuses and things to say to Kakashi, once he was talking to him.

Iruka refrained from skipping all of the way from the training ground to the high street; mainly because of the weird looks he would get and the fact that it would make the Hokage think he had gone bi-polar and finally lost it. Iruka was worried what he would do when he talked to Kakashi, because, if just thinking about talking to him was making Iruka act like a child, then he certainly wasn't going to fair well when he was actually face to face with the man.(ahem, giggly teenager rather like the authors of this)

He prepared himself by running through a few sinarios through his head; they tended to begin with, um... hello, fancy meeting you here, and then resove in a romantic scene of some description (think backing music). After mentally chastising himself for being so unrealistic, and generally not helping his situation, he decided that if he did accidently meet Kakashi in a cafe he would not normally have a speech prepared, so gave up on trying to make his little fantasies constructive. (And just let them roam free)

He was too caught up in visions of 'ehem' intimate situations with Kakashi, to realise that he was only a few metres from the cafe where Gai had said that Kakashi would be eating. Hundreds of doubts that Iruka hadn't thought of swarmed him and snapped him back to reality. Would Kakashi actually want to see him?-the last time he had seen Kakashi Iruka had unceremoniously (or ceremoniously depending on the way you look at it) rejected him by slamming the door in his face. What if this was just another one of his tricks? What would he say?

Iruka stood just outside the door deliberating if it was such a good idea after all. What if he just made a complete fool of himself (forget if, when he made a complete fool of himself). He really wanted to see Kakashi, just to get to know him, to tell Kakashi that he forgave him for his cruel taunting over the few months. Iruka decided that he would believe that Kakashi didn't know what he was saying and that that was just his way of taking out his nervousness. If so, then it was kind of cute.(naww!) Anyway, Iruka probably wouldn't be able to compose himself any better if he talked to Kakashi. So he was weighing out his options, see Kakashi but probably make a complete idiot of himself, or just play it safe and talk to Kakashi tomorrow.

His choice was made for him a moment later when Kakashi stepped out of the door and almost walked into Iruka.

'Kakashi-sensei' he gasped, 'fancy meeting you here'. (Sticking to the plan then)

----

Kakashi paid for his pizza, deciding that he preferred ramen or sushi and that the whole world was becoming far too American (technically it's Italian but the USA took over pizza land), and stood up to leave. He began to let his mind wander to Iruka, because he had been refusing it all morning (his mind), before pretty much slamming into said man.

'Kakashi-sensei' the man gasped, 'fancy meeting you here'

Was it just Kakashi or was Iruka blushing slightly. then he thought about it and decided that it probably had something to do with Kakashi pretty much declaring his undying love last time they spoke "still" his inner thoughts went "yeay, I made him blush".

-How awkward for Iruka- he also mused. but his musing were cut off by the fact that his heart was now beating much faster, his breathing was speeding up, and he was almost at a loss of how to continue with the situation. Hell, if you wanted proof of love, this was it; without him saying a word, he had made Kakashi more hyped up and freaked than an S-class mission ever had!

He smiled warmly and sincerely "Hello Iruka-san, you look good today." Kakashi internally winced at his slip of the tongue, he had meant to say "well" not 'good', but still, it wasn't a lie.

Irukas blush deepened "Hello Kakashi-san, and thank you? I am please I bumped into you as I discovered an old letter in one of my books that shed an awful lot of light on situations." he manged to stumbled out.

Kakashi's heart rate increased more, so Iruka had only just got his note? Unsure of what the right thing to say was he stayed silent.

"Ah, so, yes. It made me realise that was under a misconception and I treated you rather unfairly, I do apologize"

Kakashi opened his mouth so say that there was certainly no such need but Iruka ploughed on.

"As for the many strange conversations you, we kept on having the comments you made, well I myself I not sure why but I forgive you totally for them.

Relief washed over Kakashi, Iruka's words had a ring of conviction and truth to them now and he honestly hadn't expected to be forgiven. The darker haired man had such a way of saying things, short and to the point, but everything he wanted to say was enweaved in his words quite simply. Kakashi still had only said one sentence so far so thought it best to pipe up.

"That's utterly unexpected and wonderful, thank you so much for that." He smiled again. He wanted to say much more but was now extremely ware of letting his tongue run away with Iruka about.

Iruka to seem lost for words a little but replied "Not at all, I wanted to ask though, a question that's still kind of plaguing me, what is it that makes you so interested in me?" Iruka's question was clearly more than it appeared, in view of last nights conversation; it appeared that he wanted a confirmation of what Kakashi had said before. About all that stuff of mush and brewing emotions that Kakashi had let out...

Kakashi knew he should be embarrassed by the things he had said, he really did, but frankly he truly meant every word of it and it wasn't bothered by it. He wouldn't have believed it himself, but Iruka unwittingly forced him to drop his mask, so to speak.

So there was really only one answer wasn't there? (Besides he was already really quite late for the meeting with the Hokage).

H took a deep breath and said: "Iruka, I meant every word I said last night and I think you no that, but if you haven't already read between the lines or aren't sure, then let me confirm it" leaning closer to Iruka, he whispered "I love you."

Then he turned and ran.

---

Iruka blinked once... twice. Then the words set in.

---

That went well, thought Kakashi happily as he ran to the Hokage's tower. Once again, he was glad he was wearing a mask; because the manic grin that he was sure was plastered across his face would probably make people he passed, and the Hokage, worry about his mental health. He knocked on the door of Tsunades office and, after waiting for a reply, entered.

'Kakashi, you have a mission' she said in a bored tone before handing him a scroll.

'It's solo, s-ranked and should take a week to complete' she said, then dismissed him.

a/n yes, all you people who have read far to many fics of this structure, this is where everything goes wrong

Warning: it may get a bit angsty from here onwards. I will repost all chapters very soon I promise, and then it will be legible =)

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	13. Chapter 12

a/n okay so massive apologies for failing to upload for so long! Way can we say? Coursework you can't hide from it.

This chapter is a little silly at the beginning and more serious and plot fueled at the end. I must warn that this fic is going to get a lot darker now and earn its M rating as now the darker side of our alter ego is taking over and she, well she has a bit of a penchant for blood. (to say the least.)

Enjoy? Hopefully

Chapter 12

'Iruka blinked once... twice... then the words set in.'

Yes?!

I mean really yes? Did he actually? Does he actually mean?! He can't mean? Really?

OMG! Iruka's mind squealed. He was still standing stock still were Kakashi had left him. He understood the words and what they meant but still, really? Iruka's thoughts whirled. He didn't think Kakashi was lying to him; it had been perfectly clear what he had said, there past conversations hinted at it....

OH MY FRINGE!* This wasn't the first 'honest sincere romantic' love confession Iruka had gotten (heh heh heh) but it was the only one that had make him feel like...like this! Like he was going to explode, like he couldn't breathe through it, like he was about to strike and pose and burst into the song "I feel pretty"!

'Kakashi loved him. Loved HIM.

He was loved, by Kakashi. Kakashi had told him he loved him. "Whichever way I think about it there's no clear mistake" thought Iruka. And against his better judgment he believed him. For one thing it explained Kakashi's past behaviour.

Iruka sputtered aloud, his visible first reaction. The way Kakashi had acted! So THAT was why he was: so weird,

and awkward

and kept teasing him and-

the list went on. He had made Kakashi act that way. HE, as in, boring Iruka-sensei had made KAKASHI act 'that' way! It was pushing the bounds of reality in Iruka's mind.

So Kakashi was certainly acting like he loved Iruka, and that look in his eye (singular) when he said it...

Yes Kakashi certainly loved Iruka

So the most important question.

Did Iruka love Kakashi back?

Well, he couldn't stop thinking about him. He bore no grudge about the way Kakashi had once treated him. He had long known that he had a little crush on him (ok a big crush) and when he tried to picture his life without Kakashi in it he couldn't. Which was ridiculous because up until a month ago he certainly could have done.

So....that was a yes then.

So what that entire thought process amounted to was this: he loved Kakashi and Kakashi loved him. Making them in love with each other.

Oo err

Iruka was about to try to wrap his mind around that one when a stray thought popped into his head.

OHMYFARKINGOD KAKASHI KNEW HE USED TO STRIP TEASE. THE MAN HE WAS IN LOVE WITH KNEW HE WAS A STRIPPER!

Iruka thought he just might faint with embarrassment.

Oh and even worse? It was Kakashi of the 'icha icha' fame and therefore had probably had had rather perverted thoughts about Iruka...and and and...

Iruka's mind trailed off. The idea of Kakashi having perverted thoughts about him should really bother him shouldn't it?

Ah well......

----

Kakashi promptly returned to his apartment and packed all he would need for his mission concentrating on planning for it. He moved around his bed pulling things out cupboards he figured it would take about two weeks so he would need "this" and this and some of these and..

Kakashi paused his whirling around the room. Damnit, he wasn't prepared to even say goodbye to Iruka. For one thing he hadn't a clue what to say or for that matter, even what he wanted to say. They didn't have to figure everything out before the mission and trying to sort out emotional issues in 10mins wasn't going to go well.

What a surprise.

And although there was no way that he would admit this, he was kind of well... terrified of Iruka reaction (well no duh he ran away) and wanted Iruka to think everything through before taking the plunge.

So putting everything on hold until his mission was done seemed like the best option. Kakashi zipped up his packed bag and, grabbing a pen and paper sat down at his desk intending to write a short note to Iruka.

However as soon as he got past the dear Iruka part the mush started to pour out of him, it was awful sentimental dross that he would have laughed at upon receiving. Perhaps it was because as Kakashi's mission was secret he could give Iruka any real information on it, just vague references. He knew Iruka would understand, he was a ninja after all, but still it seems to cause a tidal wave of absolute goo to appear on his page.

After several attempts and failing Kakashi gave in, he couldn't keep the bloody thing brief or even normal so he just wrote whatever he could manage.

----

Iruka had spent most of that afternoon in a dazed state. He had gone for his prescribed checkup at the hospital that afternoon and had probably made himself seem to be an utter retard in front of the psychiatrist. But he couldn't help it as he was feeling so warm and fuzzy and kept breaking out into manic grins. He couldn't wait to talk to Kakashi, to tell him that his feelings were not unrequited. He wondered what would happen next, would he soon know the feel of Kakashi' mysterious and hidden lips and tongue against his own. His romantic and childish wandering continued as he walked down the street, he knew it was silly but it was lovely to bathe in this warm glow he was feeling.

He strolled happily into his apartment and spotted the note, from Kakashi, on the table. His grin widened as picked it up, remembering the wonderful sensation that he had felt when he first read it. When the cold heavy weight that had been crushing his heart was lifted and replaced by a delicious warm feeling, akin to stepping into a hot bath after a freezing and strenuous day. He unfolded the paper to skim the words written on the page.

_Dear Iruka,_

_I'm afraid that I must leave for a mission now..._

Irukas grin was wiped off his face; this wasn't the letter that he read earlier. He read on.

_I don't partially want to but it's my duty and I cannot fail in it. But it tears me apart to leave like this, so suddenly. I know that it will seem cowardly and selfish to tell you that and then leave immediately and I can't do anything hope that you understand that it's not my choice and if I could I would stay but your side and sort this thing out._

_I feel obliged to assure you that this isn't another joke or trick and I would sooner die than come back to you after making you feel that that was the case._

_I know this sounds awful and mushy and contrived but Iruka, I love you, I live for you, and you are the reason that I stay alive and fight to keep on breathing._

_I am afraid that I am placing another burden on your shoulders by feeling this way, as nothing in the world can change the way I feel._

_For obvious reasons I can't give you details of where I'm going only that it should only be a week, sorry love_

_Kakashi._

He was leaving for a mission? No matter how Iruka looked at it that just wasn't fair. Fortunately it was just for a week, but what if Kakashi got hurt, what if he died? He knew that Kakashi was a ninja and a very good one at that and it was his life to play with death, but…

The world around Iruka went cold, the thought alone made his heart feel as though it had been skewered by a white-hot poker. Iruka mentally slapped himself, Kakashi was one of the best ninja in the village, and of course he wasn't going to die. He went on missions often; Iruka would just have to wait a week for him. But Iruka couldn't stop the anxiety that pressed against his heart.

---

Having left his attempt at a coherent note on Iruka's table, Kakashi picked up his bags and made his way to the village gates. Once he had left Konoha he entered the woods and increased his pace to a run, thinking of how he was going to go about completing his mission between the soft thuds of his feet against the branches.

The mission was a reasonably simple one, the suspicion that a company in the Earth Country were experimenting on humans was confirmed and it was thought that there were some ninja involved. Kakashis mission was to infiltrate, assassinate the man at the top of the company's hierarchy of management, then escape.

From experience Kakashi knew that he would not be able to enter a high security building through the front with the little information he had so the simplistic answer was to be caught and work his way out. Of course that was risky but Kakashi had made his way out of hundreds of prisons in his time, they were all pretty much exactly the same. Escaping was his specialty, besides he had a metaphorical ace up his sleeve.

The best way to get caught is to be ambushed, close to but not too close to the site and he knew the perfect place.

The journey took him until late the next morning. The copy-nin's chosen spot was a clearing about an hour from where the company's lab was. It was in a valley with high cliffs either side, seeming to hide you yet making a perfect layout for an ambush. Kakashi found a small hide about 100 metres out of the valley, he lay down there and abruptly fell asleep.

After he had awakened that night Kakashi lit a fire that was almost twice as large and bright as it was safe to and lay down, feigning sleep, next to it sending his chakra out to search for any signs of an attack.

From what Kakashi had heard of the rouge shinobi that he could be against, they would very soon notice his fire. He just had to wait. Kakashi let his thoughts drift back to Iruka, maybe he was glad of this mission, of course he didn't want to leave Iruka ever and desperately wanted to see him but Kakashi was still terrified of what he would say to Iruka. Funny, he had no fear in purposely getting caught and imprisoned alone in the middle of nowhere but a single cute teacher did this to him.

As he had spent the last few months proving, Kakashi had absolutely no experience of relationships and courtship. Sure, he had fucked more people than he could count, men and women, but just wasn't cut out for emotions or that kind of thing; Missions on the other hand, he could do. Missions were what he did best, missions were long spells alone when one could just think, and maybe kill a few people. This mission was a good excuse to get away and plan his next move related to Iruka.

But before any of this could happen Kakashi felt the presence of around ten jounin level ninja, one of which had the chakra signal of a nin that was associated with the company,(at least he had been found by the right people)in all of the high vantage points surrounding him. He resisted the instinct to get up and fight, right until the last minute, when he jumped up looking stunned then kicked out towards the nin coming up behind him. Better make it look convincing. Enemy shinobi jumped down from the cliffs around him and surrounded him. Kakashi put up resistance for a while until the man he had kicked out at first landed a knockout blow on the back of his head. Kakashis vision swam, and then as it went black he had a small internal smirk.

Infiltration complete.

*phrase our friend uses, she is the queen of fringes

a/n okays looking back at our truly awful track record of spelling and grammar we give you our sincerest "sowy"s and if there any chapter which is bugging you review it and with my awesome new word 2007 I shall fix it.

It seems pathectic to ask for reviews after not updating for so long….


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